Changed

I haven't posted in what, a year? That's crazy to me. I feel bad because I posted everything I could when Parker was a baby...Emma has nothing except when I was pregnant. So I'm going to begin again. I won't be going all the way back and trying to play catch up. I'm just going to start fresh. I may not post as much as I did before but I certainly want to post more.

I don't know if anyone even reads this blog anymore...but for those who do, I want to begin by sharing what has been going on within me. I'm not going to put all of it out here because its just a lot but I'm hopeful that what I do share will help others. 

"Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!" 2 Corinthians 5:17

About 3 years ago I began feeling a pull to go back to church, I knew that I needed to go but wasn't sure where and to be honest I was a little nervous. I'd had some really great experiences with church that ended up ending badly so I was worried that I would find a place I loved and then it wouldn't last. Parker and I started going with my mother in law to her church until Michael decided we should find our church home. We visited our current church the following weekend and I immediately knew we were where we were supposed to be. We joined a small group, I was baptized and we became members that year. Things were going really well and I was happy again but something was missing. We stopped going every Sunday and were starting to stagger Wednesday nights, it just wasn't something we were making a priority. 

It wasn't until April of this year that I really started feeling that pull again. Jesus was calling me to Him and I had begun praying daily again. I was asking Him to help me because I knew that I wasn't where I needed to be. My eyes were opened a little bit more after hearing the testimony of a friend in our small group. A seed was planted...but it wasn't until I went to the Allure ladies retreat that my life was truly changed. I had been invited and wanted to go very badly but wasn't planning to go due to other plans that were going on that weekend. One of the girls who had committed to go kept asking me and telling me that she wished I could go and I decided that I needed to go. I moved some things around, got over my fear of not knowing the other women and went. Best. Decision. Of. My. Life. I am changed. I never knew what I was missing until Jesus called to me, He opened my eyes and I was shown just how much He loves me and just how much I needed Him. I am truly a woman of God now, a bride of Christ. It's a wonderful feeling.

Here is a journal entry that I wrote while on the retreat, I read this when I am feeling low and need a reminder.

" It was amazing to know that He was with me, singing over me saying "That's MY girl" she is beautiful and wonderful and I value her so much that I gave my life for HER. I am making a place for her in my Father's house and will return for her soon."

All that said...things aren't perfect. I have struggles that I deal with every day, I worry and I get lazy with making time for Him. I know where I need to be better but in the end, as long as we strive to know Jesus more and to love Him more, the works and changes that we think we need to make to be better...they don't matter. 

I'm happy and excited about the things God is doing in my life. I'm trying to live my faith daily and not let anything rob my affections for my Jesus. I just have to put on my armor every morning and be prepared for the one who will be doing his very best to get at me. 

Thank you for reading, have a blessed day!